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August 13 2017

bnhahaha:

beverlyanng:

bnhahaha:

the School is here

send it back

im trying

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imsoweirdimnotanitimanith:

cryptokitsch:

mapsontheweb:

Want to know which Waffle House location has the best views of the eclipse?

if you do this you will straight up be permanently warped into another dimension

god damnit there are none near me

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treehaver:

of course im familiar with the seven deadly sins!! the munchies, super pissed ,  naps, thinking yr hot shit, thinking your friend is hot shit and being mad about it, capitalism, and big sexy

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kashtan-art:

summer mood

rrozeselavy:

thebraveandmischievous:

rrozeselavy:

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise. 

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT 

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and. 

HE GONE. 

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL. 

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance* 

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity. 

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

Bad Occult Advice Tip: Cursed Objects

badoccultadvice:

Got a cursed item in your house? Just donate it to Goodwill. There, it’s gone now.

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londonhowell:

je-suis-un-espion:

thesteppinrazor:

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

Pro tip: Don’t do this if you recently applied for a new job.

bolded. just in case.

i feel like that pro tip is told from experience

petermaximoff:

eroscestlavie:

We should all rewatch Avatar: The Last Airbender in 2017 it’d cleanse our souls 

If youre thinking of rewatching it someone just remastered the entire series in 1080p HD! You can download it here!

wizardjpeg:

i am online and you all have to deal with it

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sixpenceee:

You energy

(source)

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lothar:

uglynewyork:

It’s a vibe.

couldn’t tell if this was real life or gta v

varondiil:

aph-england:

la-douce-france:

aph-england:

*gets down on one knee* will you…….. *takes out ring* ……….fight me?

*in tears* yes, yes I will

*starts sobbing uncontrollably* *punches you square in the face*

@celindrea

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targuzzler:

predictivetextbot:

You ever just think, like, what the fuck is going on?

the bots have reached peak relatable

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takashi0:

pr1nceshawn:

How Ironic.

I almost feel like the star girl chose that quote on purpose.

why doesn’t the x-mansion have wheelchair ramps

eliminativism:

lucaumbriel:

eliminativism:

durnesque-esque:

zozi-schlegel:

salemcenter10560:

imageimageimageimageimageimage

it’s literally his house

image

how does he get in and out of his own house

when your creators forget to give you a way to leave your own fucking house

Sounds like Sims…

He is capable of astral projection why would he ever leave? He can possess a Tibetan sherpa if he wants to feel the wind in his hair again - or feel his hair.

Yeah,but sometimes you just wanna get out and stretch your legs, you know?

>stretch your legs

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